by Jennifer Valentine-Miller
I am a woman (not a girl), God made me human (a living being) not a toy. I say this because as a person who has been looking for love for all the right reasons I have had my fair share of heartaches.
At school I was an ordinary child with extraordinary talents; especially when I reflect upon my sporting attributes and performing arts. I loved being at home as well as pursing my interests. That love was developed in an environment that had loving and understanding parents. However the turning point for me came when friends were not around to share my interests because they were developing relationships and a love life with their boyfriends. I have always felt at the back of my mind that my time for love will come when I am at that perfect place. So where is that place? I know a few cynics who always say don’t let your hear rule your head. If my heart are my feelings and emotions, then why should it not rule my head? If I am at that place where I display love, affection and loyalty I believe that should be shared with approval of level headed friends. Love is one of those perfect gifts that can be can be bestowed onto anyone. And because I am a woman, yes, I am entitled to it. I have put aside my childish ways despite my soft spot for jelly babies. When I look up to the blues skies, is that the perfect place? Or is it the green country place or financial stability? That perfect place has to be where I am able to support my love.
Love is unconditional and not just based around Eros (erotica). As one of those who has experienced several failed relations am I trying to say that this perfect place is a place where there is no divorce? If I am, then I may have to be divided because on one hand the Jewish law (Old Testament) only allows divorce if a man wants it and Christianity (New Testament) says “what God has joined together, man most not separate.” If I am to be a bride in that perfect place then I will need to seek the groom who will nourish and cherish me as though he was nourishing and cherishing his own body. I am told that being at that place of “love” is a wonderful experience. There you will find no confusion over identity, and also there will be no experiences of being misunderstood! Why do I need a groom within covenant when we all know that men and women are so different? Hark! From the book of Hosea I hear the perfect groom say “I will betroth you in righteousness and justice, in love and compassion. I will betroth you in faithfulness, any you will acknowledge…” Although the Jewish festival Yom Kippur (Day of Atonement) is a solemn day, it is also a happy day to cleanse oneself (wear white) and a day to also reach a spiritual high (celebrate). That is why this time of the year brings out my religious side which allows my actions to sit parallel with the spiritual me. When I am up there in the heavenly thrones feeling most royal, who do I give thanks to? Where do I go? I do hope that when I am in that eminent place I do not as in the book of Ezekiel “make for myself a high place in every street, with a beauty to be abhorred.” The correct condition is to see myself as the low person promoted to priestess of high thinking. Therefore, no one else needs to change their inward projection, but me.
Love is one of the strongest forces in existence. It can move a woman to rescue her children from a burning building or man to raise a vehicle that has a crushed passenger underneath. If I am finding it difficult finding love in that perfect place then I need to learn to appreciate God’s blessings. Why? Because he loves me.
An extract from the book “Words Pressed: A Short Biography” (Available on Amazon)